Stating the Obvious

One thing I've learned during my pregnancy is that I'm not a fan of modern doctors. It seems like whenever I tell them about something that's bothering me, they write me a prescription. I think it's so funny to hear "When diet and exercise fail, take (insert pill here)". Well, it's not diet and exercise that fail... it's people who fail at diet and exercise. Constipation? Here - take this stool softener. Leg Cramps? Tylenol is fine to take. Delivery pains? Here's your epidural.

Now before I continue on this blog I want to make one small disclaimer. I do not judge anyone for the decisions that they make during pregnancy/labor/delivery. Everyone is entitled to their own experience, whatever that may be. And, I know that you can't even attempt to plan any little bit of your pregnancy/labor/delivery and that all my "birth preferences" may fly out of the window as soon as I start labor.

With that being said, I would like my experience to be as natural and drug-free as possible. Its a personal choice and one that I feel strongly about. Before I knew I was carrying twins, Damon and I had already chosen a birth center to deliver. I have always liked the idea of a water birth and while he had issues with possible floating poop in the tub, he did really enjoy the environment and agreed this was the place to bring our child into the world.

Then... things changed for us when we saw two little ones on that first ultrasound. Twin pregnancy automatically put me into the high-risk category and meant I had to (legally and for insurance purposes) deliver at a hospital. I had been going to the same OBGYN for years and while I liked her enough to violate me once a year, I wasn't sure how comfortable I was with her delivering my babies. So, I reached out to my local friends to get recommendations for good OBs.

We decided to meet each one for an "interview" of sorts and then see which one we connected best with. Funny thing? Doctors are NOT used to being "interviewed". Some seemed almost offended that I wouldn't just automatically choose their practice. Some were cut from my list just because of their rude staff. I don't consider myself a "high-maintenance" person, but I wasn't willing to deal with an unhappy employee throughout the rest of my pregnancy, especially with my out of whack hormones.

But my favorite interview was with one particular doctor. The interview started off well enough, she seemed friendly enough and we seemed to connect with her. Then we began asking questions regarding her thoughts of twin birth. I told her that it was important for me to try to have the twins naturally and she stared at me with a blank expression. "I understand the risks (blah blah blah) and that there is a 50/50 chance that the twins will be delivered by C-section, depending on what happens throughout my pregnancy, but I would like to prepare for a natural birth..." I continued.

She looked at me like I had three heads and said slowly, "Childbirth is really painful."

Seriously? Wow. I was really glad she told me that. I can't believe I hadn't heard that before - I mean, what did I almost get myself into?

I was floored. That's like telling someone who is training for a marathon that running really sucks - only that person doing the telling is the physical trainer.

Needless to say, we didn't end up with her. After a couple more visits with my original OBGYN, we realized that she was the one to deliver our babies. She's blunt enough to tell me that "Yeah (and she'd probably even throw a "sh*t yeah" in there), childbirth is painful." but she'd follow it up with a "but women have been doing it drug free for centuries and you can too."

Random Thought Thursday

My babies turned 28 weeks today!!! Hello Third Trimester! We have entered the final phase...

Today's Random Thought:

If babies start developing their personalities in the womb, then is there an astrological sign for the date that they were conceived? I wonder if there are any similarities in babies conceived in March vs another month... kind of like there are similarities/generalities about babies born in March or Pisces babies...

Everybody was kung-fu fighting

So, the girls have learned kung-fu...

Lordy, lordy. My little girls are active as jumping beans! In fact, sometimes I think there has to be more than two in there! Rarely does an hour go by without a little kick or roll. And I absolutely love each movement! Whether it is the little popcorn pops, the behind poking out of my side, the big kicks, the alien-like rolls or the little punches to my bladder - each one tells me that my girls are learning, growing and love to dance! They get that from both their mommy and their daddy.

On another note, the girls are getting really big - which translates to a big old belly on Jen. Before it gets grossly large, Damon and I decided to have some pictures taken together. I have included a few for you to enjoy. Enjoy!

Random Thought Thursday

Okay, so it's totally not Thursday, but I promise, I thought of this yesterday. I'm sorry I've been such a slacker when it comes to this blog... I'm just so tired from carrying around an extra 30 pounds every day! Another promise: I will post an update blog this weekend to let you know how the girls are.

Today's Random Thought:

I'm really happy that the dot.com geniuses decided to use "dot" instead of "period" when the developed websites. Can you imagine if you had to say www period jenny dash chick period blogspot period com? Not only does it have too many syllables, it just sounds gross.

Random Thought Thursday

Random thoughts always pop into my head at the most inopportune time. I think I inherited that ADD gene from my Dad. I'll bring up a serious topic to him, ramble on for 10 minutes and then pause waiting for him to comment. He'll clap his hands and ask "Wanna order a pizza?"

Anyhoo, thought I'd start sharing these random thoughts with you...

Today's Random Thought:

Don't you feel bad for those little spiders who build a web someplace really inconspicuous like in the corner of your bathroom by the floor? I mean, how many bugs are they going to catch there? Not really a high-traffic area for their dinner...

Picture Update - Week 24

My babies are growing and so is my belly! I took out my belly ring and put in one made of flexible material to wear throughout the rest of the pregnancy. We'll see how long it lasts...


And here is another view of what my friend Walker named the "bubble gut".

20-Week Dr Visit: Part 3, The Real Deal

Before I start part 3 of the story, I just want to say how truly amazed I am at all of the overwhelming support given to us by our friends, family and complete strangers during this time. I just returned from a conference where I had no access to my blog (ack!) to see 21 comments to my last post… 19 from people I had never met before! I read them this morning with tears streaming down my face. I am overcome with emotions at the beautiful words of encouragement and complete kindness of strangers. Thank you, thank you, thank you. We have found solace knowing that we are not in this alone.


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Our heads were spinning as we left the hospital. I called my work to let them know that I wasn’t going to be able to make it back that afternoon. I wasn’t ready to face all of the smiling, inquisitive folks who just wanted to know the sexes of the two little ones growing inside of me. I wasn’t prepared to answer. In fact, the last news given to us completely trumped the fact that we were having two little girls. We didn’t send out a massive text… we didn’t post updates to facebook… we didn’t call all of our friends and family to tell them the good news… we just weren’t up for any chatting at that point.

After a very silent, uncomfortable lunch at our favorite diner, we went home to process the information. We went back and forth about our options and our feelings on having a child with Down syndrome. I think we talked through all 5 stages of grief that night. At one point, I went into the shower to find some solitude and allow myself to experience every emotion I needed to. I cried to God and prayed for him to give me two healthy little girls without Down syndrome. Then I cursed myself for being so selfish and thinking that way. I was disappointed in myself and ashamed that I didn’t want a child with any disabilities. Because I work with adults with disabilities, I thought “I outta know better” and should completely embrace the news. I thought “I know that a diagnosis of Down syndrome is not a death sentence and that plenty of people live full and happy lives with it. I know that people with Down syndrome are beautiful, loving people who enrich the lives of others. And I know that the relationship that Damon and I have is more solid than stone and that we would be incredible parents with lots of love to give to a special needs child.”

Then the pendulum swung the other way and I again begged God not to have a child with Down syndrome. It took me sleeping on it and a lot of praying that night to calm down and accept the possibility. I also started to feel better about my odds and decided to focus on the positive.

We’ve decided not to do any genetic testing. To us, it doesn’t matter if one of our babies has any birth defects. We would still have her, raise her and love her unconditionally.

We did, however, decide to have my blood tested to get a more accurate “risk” result. The chemical levels in my blood actually decreased the risk for the babies. Baby B now has a 1 in 620 chance and Baby A’s risk has gone down to 1 in 80.

Worry, fear and doubt still creep into my head every once in awhile, but I try to push them out and focus on the positive. Worrying about it won’t change anything, fear won’t make things better and doubt won’t allow me to be excited that I am having two precious little girls. So when I start feeling down, I just go out and buy them something adorable. There’s a lot to be said for retail therapy.